Scaring the Nobodies
by Noodle In a Can
Summary: So Mary found herself without a heart. What will the Org do with her? Read and find out in this short fic. Mary Sue Satire.


Disclaimer: I own only one character in this story, you'll meet her shortly. Remember this is humor, not to be confused with parody and down right crack. Just humor. Everything else is owned by their proper makers except my little OC of absolute hilarity.

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Poor Mary, she never saw it coming. The day she found her heart gnawed on by a black creature and stolen from her was the last time she could ever feel properly. Or so everyone thought.

"So, she's awaken?"

"Yes, Superior. I've done a calculation and by a few tests, her powers are quite strange."

"Let me see." Xemnas had decided to take over the operation from there on when had found her nearly half dead, eyes rolled back and bleeding from the nasty bites of the heartless. He looked over the report and raised an eyebrow, looking over at the operating table. "Very well, I'll act accordingly." He walked over as the new nobody had started to sit up and blink her deep, luscious blue eyes. It made him want to hurl. He never really wanted anything before, but the sight of her made the bile in the back of his throat boil up. Not a hair was out of place and her ivory skin seemed to glow in the magical light of the ultraviolet laboratory of Vexen. The sight of the this one made him think it was a bad idea getting a new member to join. He looked at her name and reversed the letters. It no longer read "Mary" but "Ramxy." He shook his head.

"Do you remember anything at all?"

"No." Came a very small voice as her deep blues looked up at her new Superior's. Xemnas thought that maybe he could give her to Saix to maul. That would be amusing. He hurried her into a coat, noting that her form fit it as accurate as it possibly could. Rolling his eyes, he started to walk out and show her everything, avoiding eye contact with the petite nobody. Axel was the first to meet up with her and Xemnas saw the look on his face. It was of abject horror. Maybe she wasn't such a bad being to have around if it kept the unruly number eight in check. That was until he turned the corner and heard a scream. A flame lashed in her direction. With a sigh, he turned back and blinked. A thousand plastic forks were molded into a shield.

"What the heck!" Xemnas never explained to anyone her power, it was the manipulation of plastic. He watched as her weapon soon appeared. A giant squeaky hammer. Axel tilted his head as he got it in the chest with it with a giant squeak. He laughed and blasted her across the room, making the perfect little nobody cry. Ramxy was on the floor in tears.

"Why did you do that!?"

"Because you gotta be the weakest member I've ever seen. Man oh man...you make Demyx look like Hercules."

Xemnas really wanted to leave her, or transport her to the keyblader. That would be a good idea. That would get rid of his problem. He knew just what to do.

"Ramxy. I have a mission for you. Please track down Sora, the keyblade master, and defeat him. It will be your incentive to stay within our Organization." The girl nodded and opened her first portal to find Sora and beat him up. Xemnas was in a state of relief as Vexen came trudging up to him.

"Xemnas, I found out her somebody's name. It was "Mary Sue." It seemed to fit with how stupid and incredibly infectious the being was. It seemed she was the epitome of what has flooded them from the start with half nobodies and half heartless to powers that implode them because they seem so perfect.

"At least, we know she was defective." They only nodded and went about their days without anymore interruptions. This left Mary Sue in one place alone, Destiny Island.

Riku found her first and was so appalled he bashed the poor nobody's head in to put her out of her misery. Thus, ending the universe's blithe of the dreaded Mary Sue.

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**Author's Notes: **I'm sorry, I had to make it. I couldn't help it. This was the short fic brought to you by the letter X. Remember kids, not everyone can have their name be coherent with this letter in it. And not everyone can be in the Org. Stick to cannon, have a good night.


End file.
